Progress

So I weighted myself today and I have so far loss 5 lbs! Small amount but its progress. Yay! And i applied for a job today i really want. I hope I can at least get an interview. God always takes care of me. THank you Lord

Good day

I'm proud of myself but i dont want to tell anyone. Why you ask? I dont want to ruin it! I have restricted food for two days now (still need to work on choices but I am getting there) and i walked twice today! 2.5 miles total. Now I know I can do more than that in a day but its progress becasue I am trying to walk EVERYDAY adn then i am going to try to add in some biking, but one thing at a time. So Im going to go now. Just such good news!

Job Hunting

Im job hunting. It sucks. I want a job but hate hunting for one. I use to enjoy it. No longer. I really need money to come in. I know I have the skills yet I dont't know how to market myself. Someone help!

late night musings

I feel guilty. I spent money i did not have on a book. Why you ask? Becasue I was in a pissy mood. Did it make me feel better. Yes and no. I sneaked to buy it and dont want to admit. I think I have an addiction.

I am overweight. and I hate it. I dont really know anyone who does enjoy it but I am ready to do something about it. I have been making small steps toward change, but I guess I was wishing that my steps were bigger. The job I want, the man I want, the person I imagine myself and hope myself to be requires a fit person. I love being outside, i love to move i just hate starting. The heat here dosent help, but to be honest that is just an excuse. I am tired of excuses. I need to over come myself and i dont know how.

Late night

I have a stomach ache. Its probably from eating too much crap. When will I learn? I am feeling seperated from those that I have alwasys been closest too. It bothers me but I don't want anything to do with them right now, except for maybe one or two. Well thats not true, mostly its just one person I want some time away from. I feel like I am being replaced and I hate that feeling. When did I ever get so jealous? I never had these feelings in the past. Tomorrow is my Papas birthday. I made a cake and it didnt turn out. Im upset about it. FYI never use smart balance 50/50 for a pineapple upside down cake. It doesnt work. Well i should get to bed Im tired and i dont feel good. G'night