friday night lightbulbs

I'm in a good place in my life right now. But I am still struggling with all kinds of new stuff. I am getting into the flow with work but now have to figure out my chorses and other fun stuff around that. Its a little frustrating. I had my best friend visit for the weekend. It was alot of fun. I got to take her canoeing for the first time and to a beach for a second time but the first time she enjoyed it.:) It was really exciting seeing her in awe of the ocean and sand. It reminded me of when kids or evcen adults see and enjoy and animal for the first time. That spark of delight that they get. It makes me smile. I also started a new job. I enjoy it. Sort of. I love having a job. And its not difficult work. But that can be a blessing and a curse. Its a job though and I am being able to pay off some of my bills. I am hoping that by Christmas all I will have left to pay off is my school loan and one credit card with a hell of lot less debt on it. June is my planned move out date. If everything goes according to plan. :) But plans are made to be changed just like rules are made to be broken. God is really blessing me and I am so grateful and have such a joyful heart. I hate that I keep wanting more though and that I have very little direction but after the last few years the lack of direction is not as worrisome as it once was. I Just do not care about direction anymore. I care about life and spending time with family and the realtionships I hacve. I want a better realtionship with my sisters and my father. i doubt that I will ever have one with dad though, but God does do amazing things. I just do not want to be put into a position to be constantly hurt. I watched a home video tonight of a family gathering. I miss those days. Some of those people in that video have past away and those moments will never be back. It made me sad. So I am tired now and am going to go study for my tests on mammals and birds tomorrow. Wish me luck